I went to cedar point on Saturday for the Halloween thing. I went with my friends evan, mike, and taylor. It wasnt as cold as I thought it would be, but it was very cold. We were there from about 2 to midnight! It was sooo much fun! The first thing we went on was the Drop Tower, it was a good start to the day! I was so mad though, because we didnt get to ride the Dragster. It kept breaking down and when we were going to finally ride it, it got closed again. We didnt have time at the end to go on it which made me so mad! After going out to the car, we convinced Mike to buy us all starbucks and some food. So after eating, we rode some more rides. We waited in line for the Millenium for about and hour and a half because Mike read the time wrong. He thought it said a 30 minute wait, but it actually said an hour and a half wait. I hate waiting in line so much to ride a roller coaster. I have the worst patience. However, it wasnt too bad! A guy a couple people in front of us was smoking weed so that was very entertaining. And as we were waiting in line, we just made fun of people to pass the time. We quickly noticed that theeeee weirdest people go to cedar point. There was a guy that looked just like Napoleon Dynamite, like exactly identical. It was very strange. He even talked and acted like him.
After it got dark, we started going to the haunted houses and the forests. They were extremely creepy. We went through one called CornStalkers. I had nightmares about it lest night. People hid in the corn stalks and jumped out when you walked by them. I wanted to start crying. I just looked at the ground the entire time, because I was too scared. Taylor talked to all of the people that were supposed to be scaring us when they walked by us or tried to jump out. It was making all of them soooo mad which made it kinda funny. The last one we went to was all CarnEvil. It was by fair, the scariest haunted house or haunted anything I have ever been too. Ever since I watched "It" in like fifth grade I have had the worsttt fear of clowns. I hate them more than anything. I freak out everytime I see one. So when we walked up to the haunted walk through that was filled with clowns, I almost peed my pants. It was by far that worst experience I have ever had on halloween. Evan and Mike enjoyed pushing me into the clowns and seeing me run the other direction. They made me walk first. I started walking and then made Taylor go in front of me. She then made Evan go first so I felt alot better about the whole situation. We got home at 3 in the morning and passed out. Overall the trip was so much fun!
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
When Is It Over?
You do not have to forgive in order to move on. Forgiving takes love and time. Moving on takes time as well, however, it only involves forgetting, not forgiving the person at fault. One of my favorite quotes about forgiveness is, “It takes a second to make a mistake, but a lifetime to try and forget it was your fault.”
It has been a little over a year now when my mom pulled into the vacant parking lot at an elementary school by our house to tell my 14 year-old sister at the time and I about the divorce. I was sitting there in the passenger seat, sobbing uncontrollably, listening to her talk about how it has been going on for a couple months. She had just found out a couple weeks earlier by accidently reading through emails which made me sick to my stomach. She completely opened up to us. I think it was the first time when she had cried about it in front of people. I had heard her cry herself to sleep a couple times before because of him, but I never knew what it was about. She told us about how she found three tracking devices on our van. He followed her places after she left work to meet up with friends before coming home. She repeated over and over again, “girls I want you to know how he is still your dad and he has always treated you with love and respect and you need to do the same now.” But as she was telling us that I was sitting there thinking to myself, “how could he, how could he tear apart the best thing that has ever happened to him? Or so he says we are.” He quickly turned into an unforgivable person.
My dad is the best dad anyone could ever have. Has been to every play, game, and activity my sisters and I have been involved in. A devoted husband on the other hand, is not something he knows how to be. Their marriage was falling apart piece by piece. Turns out he had been cheating on my mom for months without anyone knowing. I have learned over the years that sometimes “sorry” is not enough. Sometimes you actually have to change.
I did not talk to him for weeks. I did not answer any of his phone calls or emails. I erased every text he sent me without even opening them. I could not stand looking at him. After continuing this for about two months, I went into my church to talk to my priest about it. He, of course told me to talk to God about it and pray for help to forgive him. It was the first person besides my mom and sisters and close friends that talked to about it. That’s when I realized that the sermons he gives on Sundays really do relate to me. Sobbing for hours in the church pew made me reflect on how I was letting his terrible and unforgivable choice get in between our father-daughter bond.
To me, our bond will never be the same. It has been a little over a year and I know that I am not even close to forgiving him. Moving on so that I can continue with my life is the most important priority to me right now. I know that eventually forgiving him is going to be the most amazing feeling. All I want my dad to do is realize what he did was devastating to our relationship. He still acts as if nothing ever happened. I think that I will truly forgive him when he talks to me and is 100 percent honest. I want him to tell me why he did it and why he lied so many times to my mom and me. If he ever finally does that, I will hopefully be able to fully move on and forgive him. I want him to understand that no matter how many times you say you’re sorry it will not wash away all the pain and hurt you caused and the tears you made me cry.
It has been a little over a year now when my mom pulled into the vacant parking lot at an elementary school by our house to tell my 14 year-old sister at the time and I about the divorce. I was sitting there in the passenger seat, sobbing uncontrollably, listening to her talk about how it has been going on for a couple months. She had just found out a couple weeks earlier by accidently reading through emails which made me sick to my stomach. She completely opened up to us. I think it was the first time when she had cried about it in front of people. I had heard her cry herself to sleep a couple times before because of him, but I never knew what it was about. She told us about how she found three tracking devices on our van. He followed her places after she left work to meet up with friends before coming home. She repeated over and over again, “girls I want you to know how he is still your dad and he has always treated you with love and respect and you need to do the same now.” But as she was telling us that I was sitting there thinking to myself, “how could he, how could he tear apart the best thing that has ever happened to him? Or so he says we are.” He quickly turned into an unforgivable person.
My dad is the best dad anyone could ever have. Has been to every play, game, and activity my sisters and I have been involved in. A devoted husband on the other hand, is not something he knows how to be. Their marriage was falling apart piece by piece. Turns out he had been cheating on my mom for months without anyone knowing. I have learned over the years that sometimes “sorry” is not enough. Sometimes you actually have to change.
I did not talk to him for weeks. I did not answer any of his phone calls or emails. I erased every text he sent me without even opening them. I could not stand looking at him. After continuing this for about two months, I went into my church to talk to my priest about it. He, of course told me to talk to God about it and pray for help to forgive him. It was the first person besides my mom and sisters and close friends that talked to about it. That’s when I realized that the sermons he gives on Sundays really do relate to me. Sobbing for hours in the church pew made me reflect on how I was letting his terrible and unforgivable choice get in between our father-daughter bond.
To me, our bond will never be the same. It has been a little over a year and I know that I am not even close to forgiving him. Moving on so that I can continue with my life is the most important priority to me right now. I know that eventually forgiving him is going to be the most amazing feeling. All I want my dad to do is realize what he did was devastating to our relationship. He still acts as if nothing ever happened. I think that I will truly forgive him when he talks to me and is 100 percent honest. I want him to tell me why he did it and why he lied so many times to my mom and me. If he ever finally does that, I will hopefully be able to fully move on and forgive him. I want him to understand that no matter how many times you say you’re sorry it will not wash away all the pain and hurt you caused and the tears you made me cry.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
response
Abby said...
Thats really cool Jordan! I feel like Wittenburg is so close, but I hope your other college votes go well! I'm going to Akron next Friday :)
Thats really cool Jordan! I feel like Wittenburg is so close, but I hope your other college votes go well! I'm going to Akron next Friday :)
Sunday, October 17, 2010
I saw Social Network this weekend! It was amazinggg! It made me think so much about facebook and how it got started and how much it has developed into something everyone I know uses. Without facebook, people would actually do homework and not get distracted by chatting and looking at friends profiles. It's weird how people have friends on facebook that they don't even know. I know I have confirmed people that I've never met or seen before. Anyways... the movies was sooooo good! Justin Timberlake did very well in it! I can't believe how the storyline is all true! I mean obviously not every detail is exact, but the majority of them are! And how his best friend sews him is insane! I would defiantely sew my best friend as well though if she cut my precentages of the income from 34 percent to .03 percent. I just can't get over how real everything was! That movie relates to everyone... facebook is how I know when people start dating or break up! Without facebook I wouldn't be able to see pictures from homecoming or parties. It's so weird to think that if facebook was never invented I probably wouldn't stay in touch with half of the people I talk to know. All of my cousins that live in different states have a facebook so I can talk to them whenever I want too! You should definately go see the movie sometime soon! I loved it and I know you will tooo!!!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
homecoming
This weekend was so much fun!! The football game friday night was amazing.. everyone looked awesome in their togas! We didn't win even though we should've because we were killing them in the beginning. I was announced homecoming queen which made my entire weekend! I was in such shock but it was so cool! My grandma drove here from North Carolina to surprise me for the crowning. A couple of my aunts and some of my moms friends came to the game. They were so supportive! It was amazinggg!! Then Saturday night wass sooooo much fun as well. Homecoming was way too short. It was the best one I have been to ever! It was a blast. Dinner was sooo good and my group was so much fun! After the dance, I didn't go to a party, because its still volleyball season. I can't wait until winter homecoming so that I can do whatever I want after the dance! This weekend was very eventful and sooo much fun! I hope everyone had as much fun as I did! It looked like everyone was having fun at the dance!
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